The McBain Brief Read online

“Why do you need a gun that fires?”

  “I was just carrying it. I didn’t shoot anybody, did I?”

  “No, you didn’t. Were you planning on shooting somebody?”

  “Sure,” Assisi said. “That’s just what I was planning.”

  “Who?”

  “I don’t know,” Assisi said sarcastically. “Anybody. The first guy I saw, all right? Everybody, all right? I was planning on wholesale murder.”

  “Not murder, maybe, but a little larceny, huh?”

  “Murder,” Assisi insisted, in his stride now. “I was just going to shoot up the whole town. Okay? You happy now?”

  “Where’d you get the gun?”

  “In the Navy.”

  “Where?”

  “From my ship.”

  “It’s a stolen gun?”

  “No, I found it.”

  “You stole government property, is that it?”

  “I found it.”

  “When’d you get out of the Navy?”

  “Three months ago.”

  “You worked since?”

  “No.”

  “Where were you discharged?”

  “Pensacola.”

  “Is that where you stole the gun?”

  “I didn’t steal it.”

  “Why’d you leave the Navy?”

  Assisi hesitated for a long time.

  “Why’d you leave the Navy?” the Chief of Detectives asked again.

  “They kicked me out!” Assisi snapped.

  “Why?”

  “I was undesirable!” he shouted.

  “Why?”

  Assisi did not answer.

  “Why?”

  There was silence in the darkened room. Stevie watched Assisi’s face, the twitching mouth, the blinking eyelids.

  “Next case,” the Chief of Detectives said.

  Stevie watched as Assisi walked across the stage and down the steps on the other side, where the uniformed cop met him. He’d handled himself well, Assisi had. They’d rattled him a little at the end there, but on the whole he’d done a good job. So the guy was lugging a gun around, so what? He was right, wasn’t he? He didn’t shoot nobody, so what was all the fuss about? Cops! They had nothing else to do, they went around hauling in guys who were carrying guns. Poor bastard was a veteran, too, that was really rubbing it in. But he did a good job up there, even though he was nervous, you could see he was very nervous.

  A man and a woman walked past him and onto the stage. The man was very tall, topping the six-foot marker. The woman was shorter, a bleached blonde turning to fat.

  “They picked them up together,” Skinner whispered. “So they show them together. They figure a pair’ll always work as a pair, usually.”

  “How’d you like that Assisi?” Stevie whispered back. “He really had them bulls on the run, didn’t he?”

  Skinner didn’t answer. The Chief of Detectives cleared his throat.

  “MacGregor, Peter, aged forty-five, and Anderson, Marcia, aged forty-two, Bronx one. Got them in a packed car on the Grand Concourse. Back seat of the car was loaded with goods including luggage, a typewriter, a portable sewing machine, and a fur coat. No statements. What about all that stuff, Pete?”

  “It’s mine.”

  “The fur coat, too.”

  “No, that’s Marcia’s.”

  “You’re not married, are you?”

  “No.”

  “Living together?”

  “Well, you know,” Pete said.

  “What about the stuff?” the Chief of Detectives said again.

  “I told you,” Pete said. “It’s ours.”

  “What was it doing in the car?”

  “Oh. Well, we were . . . uh . . .” The man paused for a long time. “We were going on a trip.”

  “Where to?”

  “Where? Oh. To . . . uh . . .” Again he paused, frowning, and Stevie smiled, thinking what a clown this guy was. This guy was better than a sideshow at Coney. This guy couldn’t tell a lie without having to think about it for an hour. And the dumpy broad with him was a hot sketch, too. This act alone was worth the price of admission.

  “Uh . . .” Pete said, still fumbling for words. “Uh . . . we were going to . . . uh . . . Denver.”

  “What for?”

  “Oh, just a little pleasure trip, you know,” he said, attempting a smile.

  “How much money were you carrying when we picked you up?”

  “Forty dollars.”

  “You were going to Denver on forty dollars?”

  “Well, it was fifty dollars. Yeah, it was more like fifty dollars.”

  “Come on, Pete, what were you doing with all that stuff in the car?”

  “I told you. We were taking a trip.”

  “With a sewing machine, huh? You do a lot of sewing, Pete?”

  “Marcia does.”

  “That right, Marcia?”

  The blonde spoke in a high reedy voice. “Yeah, I do a lot of sewing.”

  “That fur coat, Marcia. Is it yours?”

  “Sure.”

  “It has the initials G.D. on the lining. Those aren’t your initials, are they, Marcia?”

  “No.”

  “Whose are they?”

  “Search me. We bought that coat in a hock shop.”

  “Where?”

  “Myrtle Avenue, Brooklyn. You know where that is?”

  “Yes, I know where it is. What about that luggage? It had initials on it, too. And they weren’t yours or Pete’s. How about it?”

  “We got that in a hock shop, too.”

  “And the typewriter?”

  “That’s Pete’s.”

  “Are you a typist, Pete?”

  “Well, I fool around a little, you know.”

  “We’re going to check all this stuff against our Stolen Goods list, you know that, don’t you?”

  “We got all that stuff in hock shops,” Pete said. “If it’s stolen, we don’t know nothing about it.”

  “Were you going to Denver with him, Marcia?”

  “Oh, sure.”

  “When did you both decide to go? A few minutes ago?”

  “We decided last week sometime.”

  “Were you going to Denver by way of the Grand Concourse?”

  “Huh?” Pete said.

  “Your car was parked on the Grand Concourse. What were you doing there with a carload of stolen goods?”

  “It wasn’t stolen,” Pete said.

  “We were on our way to Yonkers,” the woman said.

  “I thought you were going to Denver.”

  “Yeah, but we had to get the car fixed first. There was something wrong with the . . .” She paused, turning to Pete. “What was it, Pete? That thing that was wrong?”

  Pete waited a long time before answering. “Uh . . . the . . . uh . . . the flywheel, yeah. There’s a garage up in Yonkers fixes them good, we heard. Flywheels, I mean.”

  “If you were going to Yonkers, why were you parked on the Concourse?”

  “Well, we were having an argument.”

  “What kind of an argument?”

  “Not an argument, really. Just a discussion, sort of.”

  “About what?”

  “About what to eat.”

  “What!”

  “About what to eat. I wanted to eat Chink’s, but Marcia wanted a glass of milk and a piece of pie. So we were trying to decide whether we should go to the Chink’s or the cafeteria. That’s why we were parked on the Concourse.”

  “We found a wallet in your coat, Pete. It wasn’t yours, was it?”

  “No.”

  “Whose was it?”

  “I don’t know.” He paused, then added hastily, “There wasn’t no money in it.”

  “No, but there was identification. A Mr. Simon Granger. Where’d you get it, Pete?”

  “I found it in the subway. There wasn’t no money in it.”

  “Did you find all that other stuff in the subway, too?”

  “No, sir, I bought t
hat.” He paused. “I was going to return the wallet, but I forgot to stick it in the mail.”

  “Too busy planning for the Denver trip, huh?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “When’s the last time you earned an honest dollar, Pete?”

  Pete grinned. “Oh, about two, three years ago, I guess.”

  “Here’s their records,” the Chief of Detectives said. “Marcia, 1938, Sullivan Law; 1939, Concealing Birth of Issue; 1940, Possession of Narcotics—you still on the stuff, Marcia?”

  “No.”

  “1942, Dis Cond; 1943, Narcotics again; 1947—you had enough, Marcia?”

  Marcia didn’t answer.

  “Pete,” the Chief of Detectives said, “1940, Attempted Rape; 1941, Selective Service Act; 1942, dis cond; 1943, Attempted Burglary; 1945, Living on Proceeds of Prostitution; 1947, Assault and Battery, did two years at Ossining.”

  “I never done no time,” Pete said.

  “According to this, you did.”

  “I never done no time,” he insisted.

  “1950,” the Chief of Detectives went on, “Carnal Abuse of a Child.” He paused. “Want to tell us about that one, Pete?”

  “I . . . uh . . .” Pete swallowed. “I got nothing to say.”

  “You’re ashamed of some things, that it?”

  Pete didn’t answer.

  “Get them out of here,” the Chief of Detectives said.

  “See how long he kept them up there?” Skinner whispered. “He knows what they are, wants every bull in the city to recognize them if they . . .”

  “Come on,” a detective said, taking Skinner’s arm.

  Stevie watched as Skinner climbed the steps to the stage. Those two had really been something, all right. And just looking at them, you’d never know they were such operators. You’d never know they . . .

  “Skinner, James, Manhattan two. Aged fifty-one. Threw a garbage can through the plate glass window of a clothing store on Third Avenue. Arresting officer found him inside the store with a bundle of overcoats. No statement. That right, James?”

  “I don’t remember,” Skinner said.

  “Is it, or isn’t it?”

  “All I remember is waking up in jail this morning.”

  “You don’t remember throwing that ash can through the window?”

  “No sir.”

  “You don’t remember taking those overcoats?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Well, you must have done it, don’t you think? The off-duty detective found you inside the store with the coats in your arms.”

  “I got only his word for that, sir.”

  “Well, his word is pretty good. Especially since he found you inside the store with your arms full of merchandise.”

  “I don’t remember, sir.”

  “You’ve been here before, haven’t you?”

  “I don’t remember, sir.”

  “What do you do for a living, James?”

  “I’m unemployed, sir.”

  “When’s the last time you worked?”

  “I don’t remember, sir.”

  “You don’t remember much of anything, do you?”

  “I have a poor memory, sir.”

  “Maybe the record has a better memory than you, James,” the Chief of Detectives said.

  “Maybe so, sir. I couldn’t say.”

  “I hardly know where to start, James. You haven’t been exactly an ideal citizen.”

  “Haven’t I, sir?”

  “Here’s as good a place as any. 1948, Assault and Robbery; 1949, Indecent Exposure; 1951, Burglary; 1952, Assault and Robbery again. You’re quite a guy, aren’t you, James?”

  “If you say so, sir.”

  “I say so. Now how about that store?”

  “I don’t remember anything about a store, sir.”

  “Why’d you break into it?”

  “I don’t remember breaking into any store, sir.”

  “Hey, what’s this?” the Chief of Detectives said suddenly.

  “Sir?”

  “Maybe we should’ve started back a little further, huh, James? Here, on your record. 1938, convicted of first degree murder, sentenced to execution.”

  The assembled bulls began murmuring among themselves. Stevie leaned forward eagerly, anxious to get a better look at this bum who’d offered him advice.

  “What happened there, James?”

  “What happened where, sir?”

  “You were sentenced to death? How come you’re still with us?”

  “The case was appealed.”

  “And never retried?”

  “No, sir.”

  “You’re pretty lucky, aren’t you?”

  “I’m pretty unlucky, sir, if you ask me.”

  “Is that right? You cheat the chair, and you call that unlucky. Well, the law won’t slip up this time.”

  “I don’t know anything about law, sir.”

  “You don’t, huh?”

  “No, sir. I only know that if you want to get a police station into action, all you have to do is buy a cheap bottle of wine and drink it quiet, minding your own business.”

  “And that’s what you did, huh, James?”

  “That’s what I did, sir.”

  “And you don’t remember breaking into that store?”

  “I don’t remember anything.”

  “All right, next case.”

  Skinner turned his head slowly, and his eyes met Stevie’s squarely. Again, there was the same mute pleading in his eyes, and then he turned his head away and shuffled off the stage and down the steps into the darkness.

  The cop’s hand closed around Stevie’s biceps. For an instant, he didn’t know what was happening, and then he realized his case was the next one. He shook off the cop’s hand, squared his shoulders, lifted his head, and began climbing the steps.

  He felt taller all at once. He felt like an actor coming on after his cue. There was an aura of unreality about the stage and the darkened room beyond it, the bulls sitting in that room.

  The Chief of Detectives was reading off the information about him, but he didn’t hear it. He kept looking at the lights, which weren’t really so bright, they didn’t blind him at all. Didn’t they have brighter lights? Couldn’t they put more lights on him, so they could see him when he told his story?

  He tried to make out the faces of the detectives, but he couldn’t see them clearly, and he was aware of the Chief of Detectives’ voice droning on and on, but he didn’t hear what the man was saying, he heard only the hum of his voice. He glanced over his shoulder, trying to see how tall he was against the markers, and then he stood erect, his shoulders back, moving closer to the hanging microphone, wanting to be sure his voice was heard when he began speaking.

  “. . . no statement,” the Chief of Detectives concluded. There was a long pause, and Stevie waited, holding his breath. “This your first offense, Steve?” the Chief of Detectives asked.

  “Don’t you know?” Stevie answered.

  “I’m asking you.”

  “Yeah, it’s my first offense.”

  “You want to tell us all about it?”

  “There’s nothing to tell. You know the whole story, anyway.”

  “Sure, but do you?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Tell us the story, Steve.”

  “Whatya makin’ a big federal case out of a lousy stick-up for? Ain’t you got nothing better to do with your time?”

  “We’ve got plenty of time, Steve.”

  “Well, I’m in a hurry.”

  “You’re not going anyplace, kid. Tell us about it.”

  “What’s there to tell? There was a candy store stuck up, that’s all.”

  “Did you stick it up?”

  “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

  “We know you did.”

  “Then don’t ask me stupid questions.”

  “Why’d you do it?”

  “I ran out of butts.”
<
br />   “Come on, kid.”

  “I done it ’cause I wanted to.”

  “Why?”

  “Look, you caught me cold, so let’s get this over with, huh? Whatya wastin’ time with me for?”

  “We want to hear what you’ve got to say. Why’d you pick this particular candy store?”

  “I just picked it. I put slips in a hat and picked this one out.”

  “You didn’t really, did you, Steve?”

  “No, I didn’t really. I picked it ’cause there’s an old crumb who runs it, and I figured it was a pushover.”

  “What time did you enter the store, Steve?”

  “The old guy told you all this already, didn’t he? Look, I know I’m up here so you can get a good look at me. All right, take your good look, and let’s get it over with.”

  “What time, Steve?”

  “I don’t have to tell you nothing.”

  “Except that we know it already.”

  “Then why do you want to hear it again? Ten o’clock, all right? How does that fit?”

  “A little early, isn’t it?”

  “How’s eleven? Try that one for size.”

  “Let’s make it twelve, and we’ll be closer.”

  “Make it whatever you want to,” Stevie said, pleased with the way he was handling this. They knew all about it, anyway, so he might as well have himself a ball, show them they couldn’t shove him around.

  “You went into the store at twelve, is that right?”

  “If you say so, Chief.”

  “Did you have a gun?”

  “No.”

  “What then?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing at all?”

  “Just me, I scared him with a dirty look, that’s all.”

  “You had a switch knife, didn’t you?”

  “You found one on me, so why ask?”

  “Did you use the knife?”

  “No.”

  “You didn’t tell the old man to open the cash register or you’d cut him up? Isn’t that what you said?”

  “I didn’t make a tape recording of what I said.”

  “But you did threaten him with the knife. You did force him to open the cash register, holding the knife on him.”

  “I suppose so.”

  “How much money did you get?”

  “You’ve got the dough. Why don’t you count it?”

  “We already have. Twelve dollars, is that right?”

  “I didn’t get a chance to count it. The Law showed.”

  “When did the Law show?”

  “When I was leaving. Ask the cop who pinched me. He knows when.”